i release you
by jennedy
Summary: gifts were meant to be used, twins were meant to be together, and Lionesses were meant to burn in glory. AU, oneshot, Alanna's final scene


Alanna's hands trembled as she placed them on Jon's icy cheeks. Her breath caught in her chest, and she found herself gasping, the ragged breaths tearing from her lips and ripping away in clouds of fog.

_thom's face, hot as hell, burning from within, sick, black, magic, weight pressing on her arms with his collapse, her brother dead on the floor, roger crowing with joy_

A Kingdom needs a King, she thought. The Prince is not ready. A Kingdom needs a King.

_jon's hair slick with blood, thayet's screams echoing through the castle, raoul's face pinched with fear_

They need him, she convinced herself. My children are grown, and I can be replaced. I am a Champion, not a monarch.

_a fading lioness alone on a battlefield_

George, her heart groaned, _George._ But this act cannot be selfish, for it is saving a boy's innocence and a Kingdom's peace. Selfishness is different. It is different.

_her twin, her half, so proud, so dead, his life a mark of his power_

_He _was selfish, she thought, a selfish genius, and he brought back a nightmare and paid with his life. _I _am just, she thought, but I am weaker, and my power is untrained and scant.

_if he did it she could, potential does not fade with time, the Gift; a roiling beast in her soul_

Jon, Jon, she whispered to herself, how could you leave at a time like this? You are needed, and I am not. You force my hand; a choice between myself and my fealty.

_spinning twisting magic, watch it drip like blood from her hands, dark purple blood on the King's face, a moaning cry in the night, I CHOOSE MY FEALTY_

The Gift roared in her ears. She reached for him, felt for him, and his soulless body rested before her, an empty sea bed waiting to be filled.

_rip through her veins, burst away through her hands and her mouth and her nose and her eyes, a torrent of power, a stream of light_

In her mind's eye, he stood, facing away from her. She called for him, but he could not hear. She screamed herself hoarse. She needed more. Anything more. Pain is an illusion, she screeched through the gritted teeth of her consciousness, and she sucked more power from her body.

_thom had the power i do not have and i cannot gain i am losing him and i will die anyway_

Jon, she croaked, JON, but her voice did not carry. Each step towards him drained more power, more strength, and she could feel her back breaking and her lungs crashing inwards, and real, wet liquid flowed from her throat and onto her lips, staining them scarlet.

_anything that can be taken i must take, anything that can be broken I must break_

He began to turn around, painfully slow, dragging his feet in the pools of infinity. His sapphire eyes were confused. _Lioness? _he whispered, for in her pain she was unrecognizable.

_i have a duty, and it must be fulfilled, pain is not an option, just do it, bones crack and fade, skin peels and withers, vertigo spins her head around_

_Jonnnn_ she mumbled, the sound emanating from her devastated body. _Commmmmme. _He tried to step towards her, closing the small gap between them, but his feet were cased in iron. She screams and takes one more step, clamping a hand on his shoulder.

_take my blood take my life, live, jon, live, take everything but live, thom, help me, i can't, my Gift is gone, all i have left is my life_

_Take it, _she murmured, strangely calm. _The void is closing before us, friend. I will not go with you. Take it and let me stay here, and suffer no longer. _Guilt weighed down the King's strong shoulders as he took her Life, the flickering purple flame that was his Champion. It cascaded down his body, and took root in his heart and his mind. But he left her a spark, because he could not bear to lose her. _You are so strong, Alanna, you do not need to die for me._ And they crashed back to reality.

_demons burn beneath her skin, ravens dig away her violet eyes, she is dead but still alive, burnt to ash but still aflame_

She was nothing, and he everything. Her hands slid away from his face, and he caught her. Blood that dripped from her mouth covered him. Her breath was low and painful. Jon rose slowly, his faded Lioness clutched against him. Death had left his body entirely; with enough healing, his Champion would be revived, and nothing would change. As he carried her, he could feel her weak bones crack, and bruises spread over her body with each motion. Fear like none before filled him.

_please jon please, my brother awaits, his hand is in mine, and it is cool and beautiful, my mother who i never knew, my friends who fought and died, they are here for me_

Tears dripped from his nose, and his handsome face twisted in guilt. _Thank you, Lioness, thank you, friend. I release you._ And from his belt he drew his sword, the sword he was entombed with, and he slid it through her chest.

_i release you, i do not lament; Gifts were meant to be used, twins were meant to be together, Lionesses were meant to burn in glory_


End file.
